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Post by Chuck Peters on May 23, 2006 9:35:29 GMT -5
What are some of the biggest differences in you now.. and they way you were in high school? Or the way people perceived you? How do you think you have changed?
Answers can be anything you feel like writing.. What has changed most,.. your attitude, thoughts, appearance, all the above,.. etc etc..
As always,.. remember.. it's all in fun. If you would rather not answer... or don't want someone readng your answers.. that's ok too.
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toms
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Posts: 103
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Post by toms on May 23, 2006 14:17:27 GMT -5
What are some of the biggest differences in you now.. and they way you were in high school? Or the way people perceived you? How do you think you have changed?
Interesting questions.....I'm sure we have all changed a great deal. Not only in appearance, but inside. But, a lot of things about us never changes (Laughing--this is a "Bonnie" answer).I'm older, heavier, grayer, more wrinkles, and happier than I've ever been in my life. I have two great kids of my own, and three great step-sons. I cherish all of them. I worry about my son, but am very proud of him. He is a pilot in the Air force. He's already done one tour in Iraq, with another in January. I got married to a wonderful lady (Kay). Two years in June! I see Carol and others on here talk about being married to their best friends. Very cool! I understand what that means now. Great feeling, isn't it? Now, one question you asked. How was I perceived in high school? When i was a senior, i was in Mrs. Brown's speech class. The different thing about this class was that it had students from each class in it. freshmen, sophs, etc. (funny about the things you remember) One person I have never forgotten was a girl in the class, from South Lebanon, two years younger than us. In this class we often broke up into smaller groups and really talked to each other. Anyway, this girl looked at me one day and said, "Tom, you're really a nice guy, not a snob like we all thought you were." I never forgot that. My problem in high school was that i was terribly shy. Now some people that know me well would never believe that, because I was always very open with them. But i had a lot of trouble with people i didn't know well. i have overcome this for the most part. I will never be totally at ease with just standing up in a crowd and talking, but it's something that I've learned to do. So if I ever came across as a snob with any of you, i apologize. It was never intentional. Wow! Top that Bonnie!
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Post by Chuck Peters on May 23, 2006 14:37:22 GMT -5
Thanks for opening up Tom.. that's what i was hoping would happen here.
I never remembered you as a snob.. but then.. Maybe I knew you a little better than others.. because of my contact with Dennis, Jack and Bob Smith..and Bill Doughman.
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Post by thelma on May 23, 2006 17:28:20 GMT -5
Bonnie , I see a challenge, Tom has thrown down the gauntlet ……this should be good folks. Thelma
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Post by caroltaylor on May 23, 2006 18:39:29 GMT -5
Tom, I loved your response to this question,I thank you too for your honesty and deep thought.I which I had known you better in school, I remember thinking that you were SO intelligent and feeling intimidated by that. I was very insecure about myself in every way. Now, I realize that everyone has their own problems and MOST people are really very nice and I am just as good as the next one and I know that God loves me for who I am. That has helped me overcome my inferiority complex and become more bold and outgoing which is so necessary in the world of "sales" but I regret all the friends I would have known If I had learned this earlier. OH MY-I'm sounding a bit "Bonnie!" Thanks for sharing with us!!
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Post by bonnieabner on May 24, 2006 3:02:12 GMT -5
Well, it's about time you good people started to come out-of-your-shells! I can't be the only entertainment on this site! So now if everybody's finished "kicking Bonnie around" I'll begin: It was the best of times...it was the worst of times...It was a time in my life when my dreams were filled with nightmares of a young girl all dressed up for school, make-up, hair, the works; books in hand, ready to begin a fruitful day. When suddenly, my clothes would begin to fall apart at the seams, and drop off of my body. I would find myself crouching in the back of the school bus, trying to hide from the other kids, or I would get to school only to look down in first period, and realize that I had forgotten to wear a bra. I truly believed that I stuck out like a sore thumb, so afraid that I would say something stupid (which of course made me so tense that I often would say something stupid!). I had no clue that my classmates and friends were having the same experiences. Thelma and I found that we shared all the same classes our Freshman year. Thel, do you remember how many weeks it took us to get up the courage to go into the lunchroom for lunch? We would be starving, but as soon as we peeked into the cafeteria at all the new faces, laughing, eating, clearly confident and carefree; we knew we were too "dorky" to enter the area of the "beautiful people". Someone might openly reject us, someone might look at us, and cause us to spit milk through our noses...it was just better not to take such a chance. Having her with me, made it bearable to be insecure, although none of my friends knew just how much; that was something you didn't dare tell anyone. I have to say, you all appeared very "together" to me, your insecurities were well hidden from me. My parents, God love them both, made me feel like I could accomplish anything as a young child, and this confidence followed me through grade school. However, when their marriage failed, I went into a shell. The divorce had a devastating effect on my self esteem. Suddenly, I had adult responsibilities at home which robbed me of a carefree teen experience. This is when the Lord "found" me. I gave my life to Him, at this young age, having no idea just what He would take me through. That was 39 years ago, and God has been faithful in my life. As a result of my teen years, I have a God-given radar that allows me to see hurting kids. We've taken four of them into our home at different times; for different periods of time. My past became a valuable tool that I would use to share nuggets of wisdom with these kids. I found myself counseling them that although they could not control their past, they could change the life they would have in the future. I married a wonderful man that made me feel loved, and secure. We had three children that I showered with all the love that I had missed; I began to heal through them. Gil and I made choices which allowed me to stay at home with the kids, for the most part. It meant that we would have some struggles, but it was well worth it...I became the "Kool-aid" Mom. I returned to school when our oldest graduated from high school; we started our first semester together, and even shared an Algebra class. The professor kept calling me "Mama". Can you believe that!? The man was 70 years old! Anyway, I digress. Funny thing, I felt the same insecurities that I felt in high school, all over again. I've learned to be comfortable in my own skin though, and I know that God put me on this earth for a purpose. I understand that each of us has a mission for God, but we aren't all sent to Africa or China. Some of us are sent to the cashier in WalMart ,or to a hurting mother in the airport. I've learned to understand the importance in these simple, but meaningful encounters. My hearts desire is to always be ready to make a move when I feel the Lord tugging at my heart. I've learned that God can take the broken, fractured pieces of our lives, and make them something usable, and worthwhile; if we'll let Him. Now, I'm learning to hold the things (people) I treasure before the Lord with an open hand. Like the others, this lesson is not an easy one, but I have the confidence that God will go with me anywhere I have to go. Finally, I'd like to share a story about Thelma's youngest son, Nick, and how God used a little boy to speak to my heart. I had driven to Thelma's from SC, and was spending a few days at her house. One evening while we were having one of our late-night talks, Nick came in to share his collection of polished rocks with me. I asked him how the process worked, so he quickly retrieved a little kit which included a small machine that resembled a miniature cement mixer. "You just toss the rocks into this little chamber, and add some of this polishing powder", he instructed. "Then you let the machine run for days, and days, and days"..."and days, and days and days", Thelma added with a smiling roll of her eyes. "Then one day you check them, and they look like this, all shiny and pretty, and you can make jewelry out of them if you want to". With that he handed me three perfectly polished stones as a gift "to remember me by", he added, graciously. "As if I could ever forget that sweet, little face", I thought. The stones were beautiful in color, and shape, but I especially enjoyed the smooth feel of the stones when I held them in my hand, and ran my fingers over the cool surface. The Lord began to speak to my heart about the stones: "My children are very much like these stones, I take the ugliness, and dirt of their lives, and I wash them clean with my blood. Then, I put you through a refining process, much like the little machine, add in life's hardships, throw in prayer, trust and patience, and churn for many days to remove all the rough edges. I will check on you from time to time, and when you are a thing of beauty, in my eyes, and smooth to the touch, to draw others, I will be able to use you". I weep every time I think of the lesson of the stones, and I have shared it in study groups many times. Thanks Nick, I know you've become a wonderful young man. I have learned that God wants me to live life, laugh, have peace of mind, joy, love, health, family and friends...all of His Best gifts...and He wants me to pass it on. After 52 years on this earth, I'm still in the polisher. Every now and then, He takes me out and says, "not yet", but I can feel the effects of His work in me, and it is good.
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Post by Chuck Peters on May 24, 2006 7:17:45 GMT -5
How do I say this without sounding like a jerk? I never realized some of the insecurities that existed. I just never had them. I always felt great in school. I just didn't see the problems around me.. If I had.. I would have done more to let you guys know how much I really thought of you..and loved you.
Other than being the fat kid.. (now I'm the fat man).. which kept me from having girlfriends for most of my school years,.. (and I really liked the girls) I was pretty secure. Happy home life.. wonderful parents. I had some good friends.. and felt very much a "part" of things. I was never a "sports" jock.. but had friends that were.. Other than watching some college football (GO VOLS).. and a little baseball.. I, still, can take or leave the sports action.
How have I changed? not much.. personality wise. I am still the same.. just (hopefully) a little wiser.
Spiritually.. I went through a time when I was too heavenly minded to do any earthly good. I have come to a better understanding of what God wants from me.. I used to think He wanted me to be perfect.. and spotless clean.. so I tried it.. and failed.. time after time. Now I live to do the best I can do.. and lean on Him for the perfection that I need. The hardest thing, spiritually,.. has also been a learning experience: Coming to better accept other peoples' relationships with God.. and understanding that I really don't know their hearts.. and I am not the judge.
Weight wise: I have always battled this weight problem. I have gone up to 300 pounds.. and for awhile (about 15 years ago) I was down to around 200. I have now accepted my appearance as something I am.. so my eating habits and weight control issues are more of a health concern than a vanity issue. I try to "be aware" of what I put in my body..and make smarter choices.
Smoking: I smoked from the time I was about 15.. I was a prisoner to cigarettes. I became so sick of designing my life choices based on whether or not I could "light up." I quit 9 years ago.. It has been the best thing I have ever done.
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Post by caroltaylor on May 24, 2006 9:08:52 GMT -5
CHUCK, I am so glad that you felt that Love & security around you and that at least maybe I hid my problems from you. As a child I believe if your home is "unhealthy" which mine definitely was it makes you insecure & you feel that everyone sees it & knows it . My parents were and still are very negative people & never gave me the encouragement I sought.I have had to battle this as a parent myself to continue to uplift & encourage. One thing about you that will always stand out in my memory,is, when I began to come to church at First Baptist you took me in & supported me & was my friend there, That meant so much to me as a new Christian. The other very sad thing I remember about you is- how very devistated you were when Dennis Smith died. We were all so sad to lose such a wonderful talented friend. I, too am learning to accept others and be less judegmental. I too battle the weight issue constantly and worry about Diabetes.But I am trying not to judge myself by my weight but by my heart and do the best I can but not let it make me crazy & self conscious. Well, I am looking forward to seeing you & giving you a big hug & I don't care what you look like or weigh because all I see is that "big heart!!" Love You!
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Darlene Center Carter
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Post by Darlene Center Carter on May 24, 2006 12:10:20 GMT -5
I hate to admit this, but my high school experience was painful... I weighed 86 pounds, and 80 pounds of that was insecurity. I am surprised to learn that some of you had insecurities too, but unlike me, you didn't let them become debilitating throughout those high school years. But, because of all of you and our reconnecting through this site, It's 1971, I'm back at school, and I'm having a good time! How have I changed? I'm still the same ol' me, but I'm 150+ pounds of security!
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Post by thelma on May 24, 2006 18:14:22 GMT -5
Let me start by saying, I think that you are a remarkable group of people I am proud to call all of you my friends. Bonnie, I do remember our lunch dilemma, I have way over compensated for those few lost lunches.
I had and still do have wonderful parents, I was raised in a home of love and support. My insecurities were self inflected. I saw everyone else as perfect, you were all on a pedestal to me. I was very hard on myself. By the end of freshman year I started to ease up a little and I remember high school as wonderful time. I was still insecure of my looks, I was fat and I wasn’t cute so I didn’t attract boys and (boy did I love the boys ) but it never stopped me from doing anything ,so I joined clubs, went to dances(solo) participated in plays , cruised Frisch’s and never missed another lunch.
Today, I’m pretty much the same as in high school ,as far as, I find the same type of things funny, I value the same things, but now I’m wiser I trust myself more. My feelings have more depth and layers. I know I have control of how I react to things, and I chose to be optimistic.
My spiritual life is more fueled by observing, I know God gave me Joey to improve my life, I have learned more through my son than any other thing in my life. I don’t think I would have marveled at my son Nick’s development as much as I did if not for Joey. I take nothing for granite. Joey is the most honest and the happiest person I know. Because of him I have the privilege to work with children with disabilities and their families. I am blessed to witness miracles. I see and feel what unconditional love is on a daily basis. I fell the presence of God through the children. I am so pleased that my son Nick was the catalyst for your analogy, and yes, he is a wonderful young man. ( I will be sure to share your story with him.) As far as appearance... The years have not been kind...and lets just say there is a LOT more of me to love... I like to think of if as........ I'm fluffy
Thelma
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etm
Full Member
Posts: 168
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Post by etm on May 24, 2006 19:20:59 GMT -5
hi everyone, i am new at this computer stuff so forgive my mistakes. i loved high school and all the friends that went with it. iwas happy at school to see thelma and carol and bonnie and brenda. school wasthe place for friends. i did not see many people once i was home so school and church were important. now, i still find friends important. and you all are the long term kind. i see carol every time i go to columbus and she inspires me. what a talented lady she is.i think we all change as we age but how many of us can say we fill like the same person we were in high school.i see it in carol .
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Post by caroltaylor on May 24, 2006 20:34:14 GMT -5
Eileen,I am SO proud of you, I know how you don't like computers but all this great discussion promted you in!Way to go Girlfriend!! The words you said were so sweet & touch my heart! You are the one that is so talented and inspiring. You are such a precious friend,I Thank God that we still can be there for each other,look at all the times I've cried on your shoulder. You are always so encouraging! I will always be Grateful for you & All that you your friendship has meant to me thru the years. Love you Eileen!!
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Post by bonnieabner on May 24, 2006 22:26:36 GMT -5
Well said, Carol! You look wonderful to me, Chuck, and your skill on the computer is incredible. Oh, I love this kind of interaction! This has the makings of a healing place, doesn't it? I couldn't wait to get into this site today (as you can see, I've started earlier tonight). I appreciate what each of you have shared. I have been concerned about how I was going to camouflage my weight. Now I'm not as worried, but there is definitely more of me to love, too. ;D You're all so precious to me...I think it's time for a group hug. Eileen, thanks for joining us; I was hoping you would. I'm not really computer savvy either; the whole thing can be very intimidating. You go Darlene! Where's Gary? We haven't heard from him in a while. PS What about the dreams? Am I the only one who had those dreams?
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Post by thelma on May 24, 2006 22:44:11 GMT -5
Hello Eileen, I'm so glad you joined the site, I always feel happy after being on here...Chuck's was so wonderful to start this.... he's da man
I'm looking forward to seeing you....Thelma
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Thelma Halconb Shepherd
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Post by Thelma Halconb Shepherd on May 25, 2006 6:14:39 GMT -5
Hello Tom, I just wanted to say that I am very proud of your son the Air Force Pilot also, Please tell him thank you for me.-Thelma
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